Ethan/Xuan - #29: Affaire de Coeur
STUPID HOMEPAGE.
*
Your father calls in the morning. "Ethan, you have a little brother!"
"Yeah?" you say, crunching on your cereal. "Mom doesn't look pregnant to me."
"Don't be flippant," he snaps. "You know Serena was pregnant. I told you already."
"Sorry, I never remember stuff you tell me. It goes in one ear, out the other."
"You brat--"
Serena's voice cuts in, pleased and giggly. "Oh, Ethan. Don't be so grumpy. Don't you want to meet your brother? Just don't try and turn him gay, okay?" She laughs, and you grit your teeth.
"Not funny, Serena." You hang up without saying good-bye. Dumping the leftover milk down the sink, you scowl. God, your dad just had to marry the most annoying bimbo, ever. Every time she talks, your irritation bubbles over, like now. You're not in the mood for school anymore, either, so you wash the dishes, then head towards the park. Fuck school. Fuck your dad and his wife. Fuck it all.
*
Xuan finds you on the swings after school. "I thought you were sick," he says, sitting beside you.
"Sick of my dad, yeah."
"What happened?"
"Serena just had her baby."
"And that annoys you?"
"She joked about me turning him gay. Like that's possible. My dad wouldn't let me. He's got a new family now, a perfect one. He doesn't want me in it, ruining it."
Xuan sighs and swings back and forth silently. You stare at the ground, thinking the words you refuse to say aloud. You think your dad has never loved you, or not as much as he used to when you were little and happy. You think he's already exchanged you and your mom for Serena and her son, that you're that easily replaced. You think you shouldn't care, but you do, so you try to patch up the hurt with brambles and thorns so the world can't see how weak you are still. Then Xuan reaches between those thorns and touches the hurt. He says, "You're not replaceable, Ethan."
"What?"
"It's not easy to find someone like you. It's not so easy to get rid of you, either. I should know."
You smile at his words. "Yeah, I'm like a weed, huh? Always coming back no matter what."
"I'd never pull you out in the first place." He blushes and adds, "Wow, that was corny."
"It was," you agree. "But thanks anyway." You let his words touch that secret place in your heart, the place that still hurts so easily. They soothe the pain a little, so you say, "You're not so easy to get rid of, either."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really." You finally take his hand and hold it, feeling his warmth seep into your skin. "Besides," you say, "it's like I would want you gone in the first place."
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omk_mal_hae) wrote,
annoyed
